In my Classroom Management class we are reading Ruby Payne's book, A Framework for Understanding Poverty. Chapter 9 compares criticism and encouragement to withdrawals from and deposits to an account. Our deposits should far out-weigh our withdrawals in order to build a healthy account (relationship). As I was reading an entry on our group discussion board about this chapter, I was hit with the realization that I was not applying this to my youngest daughter. She is an amazing girl: in her school practices she is internally motivated, self-directed, and very conscientious. Yet, at home, she is rather messy and clumsy. Being the youngest of seven, I'm not really sure she has had the direct training as her older siblings. I tend to nag and get frustrated (a nice word for angry): withdrawals. A lot of withdrawals. I realize that I am trying to make her be something and not seeing my responsibility to train her (again). Instead of sending her to her room to clean it (again), I need to go into the trenches with her (deposit) and help her filter through the mess, help her organize it, and talk to her about how to keep it clean. I need to be more conscious around the house to follow up on her projects, to train her to clean up after she's finished. Do her projects with her (deposit). I need to train without the negative, angry tones that increase the magnitude of the withdrawals.
So what does this have to do with becoming a teacher? I'm pretty sure there will be students like my youngest. I expect more from them without a real basis for my expectations. Or it will be that I've gone over it enough that they should have it by now. I have to keep in mind that all moments are learning moments. Patience means keeping a teaching perspective at all times.
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